Savvy Auntie is thrilled to introduce the very first column by Jared Matthew Weiss, New York's premier Life Stylist. Jared's here to provide advice and support on topics ranging from relationships and sex to fashion, fitness, and career.  He's been featured on Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, The Tyra Banks Show and has a regular column in Shape Magazine.

Want YOUR questions answered, Savvy Auntie? Send them in to AskJared@SavvyAuntie.com! Or Twitter your question to @SavvyAuntie with #AskJared and we'll get your Tweet to him!


Dear Jared,

I’m 41.  I’m single.  Both my little sisters are married with kids.  I’ve got the job of my dreams, the apartment I always wanted, and amazing friends.  At this point, is it okay to settle for being alone?

Dee Dee


Hi Dee Dee,

Life is too short to settle for unrealized dreams and half-ass happiness.

Whether it’s a relationship, a job, or rock hard abs, I’m a firm believer that you can have it all.

Start by asking yourself, “Why don’t I have what I want?"  And don’t let your inner critic get the best of you, i.e. I’m not pretty enough, I’m not living in the right city, blah, blah, blah.  That type of self-defeating BS is limiting, stressful, and completely deconstructive.  So your first step is telling that inner critic to shut up.  She’s not helping you find a man or be happy.  

The next step: open yourself up to possibility.  When we consider “settling” for something, it’s because we’ve resolved that we want is off the table.  And that type of thinking sure as hell isn’t going to bring a man into your life.  The process of finding love does require you to have some faith that love is not only possible – it’s probable – and that you will get it.

And finally, it’s time to examine every facet of your life: from your diet and style to your relationships with family and friends.  Where do you need work?  What loose ends have gone untied for too long?  There may be a ton of issues in your life, professionally and/or personally, that require resolution before you’re truly capable of being in a romantic partnership for the long haul.  Take a deep look inside and face whatever you’ve been putting off.  The sooner you do the work, the sooner your happiness will begin to manifest.

Ultimately, I encourage you to never settle for anything.  Determine that your dreams are possible and make them happen.  It can be a scary obstacle course to get there, but when you do, you’ll know what happiness really is.  And you probably won’t be alone.

Love you bye,
Jmw.